Tuesday, May 25, 2010

How iphones Destroyed the World - Part 9 by Sebastien

Tim and Petey were friends,

But it wasn’t always so.

I remember when they would

Awkwardly greet each other on the tram:


Polite hello and then headphones back on

And/or the book/magazine re-opened.

Tim always a magazine, Petey an airport novel.


Tim upgraded to an iphone one day,

Discarding the magazine.

It was all games and “apps” now.


One afternoon, Petey had a

heart attack.


On the tram, and who better

To assist him, to save him,

Then his friend Tim.


Tim dialed the ambulance,

But his battery died…

The other passengers offered their iphones,

(okay to do to another member of the cul….)

but these all died too, what with

all the texting and surfing and gaming…


Flat batteries, Hilarious!

Technology imitating life,

Petey’s battery had run out too,

And at the most inopportune time!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Part 22: Old Actors run predicatble hoops

The highlight of the film, was seeing a rather cute girl with two kids tagging along, at the cinema. She was approximately my height, and had these lovely square glasses. Her skinned was a little sunned, adding a lovely glow to her mixed-raced colour. Her black hair was tied back. She was the highlight of the film.

Rec had insisted I accompany her to see Old Dogs (see my review http://stokershorrorblog.blogspot.com) with her mother and mother’s new beau. I tried not to accept, I fought hard to not go, but she used her immense intelligence and bargaining skills to get me to go.

‘I’ll pay and I’ll get you dinner.’

‘Okay.’

Back to the girl. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to do things to her. I pretended to read the posters of the up coming films so I could accidentally bump into her, or one of her kids. Whichever.

‘Sorry’, I fumbled. ‘These new films look ever so exciting, I just wasn’t paying attention.’

She politely smiled, ‘That’s alright,' and looked away.

‘So, I assume you will be sitting through the horribly vacuous Old Dogs, much like me?’ I threw in my most mischievous smile.

She nodded, ‘Yeah. It’s really the only thing appropriate for the kids.’ We both laughed at this. I looked at the kids – both were ugly.

‘These kids yours? I don’t see much of a resemblance?’

She looked down at them, to make sure the resemblance I was referring to was not in fact there. 'That one is my neighbour's, and that one is his best friend. I am being a very nice neighbour so his mum can have some alone time.’

I nodded. I understand. I do understand. Sometimes I read comics on the balcony so Rec can clean without getting in my way.

She looked around, ‘Where are your kids?'

‘My girlfriend is,’ I looked around, and realised that Rec may have been watching this the whole time, ‘is just walking up from the candy bar now, with her parents.’

‘Girlfriend’ Statement, not question. Damn.

Rec arrived, handed me my choc-top and away we went.

‘Were you just hitting on that girl?’ she asked.

‘No, just a friendly chat. We had mutual dislike for the upcoming film.’

‘Right Steve Rogers. Sure.’ Her pace quickened.

We watched the trailers and ads in silence.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

How iPhones Destroyed the World – Part 1 by Sebastien de Robillard

It was a bright day, a wonderful day.
Jim went to the store, and pointed.
He took the form, and signed it.
They handed the box over.

He smiled with glee and sat down.
He had to touch it now.
And as he touched, a skater saw.
And he wizzzzzed past, snatching it.

So he ran, after the skater.
He chased, he pushed, he chased, he pusshhed.
The thief coasted further away, fastwe.
And then Jim gave up, he turned back.

He was going back.
Back to where it all started.
He was going to point.
He was going to sign.

He was going to get another one.

On that bright and wonderful day.
Jim finally got a new iphone. Another one.
Oh what a glorious day.

This time he waited until he was home.
To touch the iphone.
He had to be smarter now.
He was smarter now.

This as how iPhones destroyed the world.